Keeping it Real

Things I Won’t do Just to Keep a Man

I learned these things the hard way.

I’m single. Not because I can’t find a guy, not because I got dumped, not because “I can’t keep a man,” but because I want to be. I feel good about my life right now, and I’m enjoying all the freedom that comes with not being in a committed relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-dating or anti-relationship, but there are certain things I won’t do just to have a man in my life.

1. Change for a guy
Who hasn’t pretended to be something you’re not for a guy? You learn early in your dating life that this is a lose-lose proposition. It’s not fair to the guy who thinks he’s getting someone different, and it’s not fair to you. If you can’t be your authentic self in a relationship, then what’s the point?

2. Ignore red flags
You saw them; you didn’t want to believe them, so you ignored them. And what happened? You were heartbroken when the relationship ended. I’ve learned not to ignore the signs that are right in front of your face, no matter how much you like someone.

3. Pressure Date
If you’re single for more than a couple of months, I sure you’ve experienced this. Friends pressuring you to “Get back out there.” Your family looking at you with pity “You’re so smart and pretty, why aren’t you dating?” No more guilt-trip dating for me.

4. Think I can change him