The fairy tale stories of success just falling into someone’s lap rarely happens.
It takes hard work and dedication to get your life in order. If this concept scares you or if you want to wait for your Fairy Godmother to bibbidi-bobbidi-boo you into happiness, then you don’t need to read any further. But if you’re ready to get your shit together now – read on!
1. You have to have goals, or what’s the point.
If you are wandering in life without any direction, it’s because you haven’t established what it is in life you want. What you’re working to achieve. Goals help us sort out what is important and what isn’t.
2. Stop giving a fuck about what others think of you.
How many hours have you spent worrying about what others think of you? How many times have you felt devalued because of what someone said about you? When you allow your self-worth to be determined by others, you are no longer in control of your emotions.
It is up to you to build your value in life. Your approval of yourself should always matter more than anyone else’s.
3. The truth is, we don’t have much control.
You can eat healthily, exercise daily and still get sick. You can graduate summa-cum-laude from college, and the dream job you wanted goes to the boss’ daughter who barely finished. You can be the funniest, prettiest, smartest woman and the guy you like choose someone else. You do your best and can still come out on the losing end. But you don’t give up, you just re-focus.
You must realize that you can’t control what someone else does; what nature does. You can only control your actions. We spend countless hours worrying and focusing on things that we can’t control. List the things that you can control and focus on them. Put your energy and time into achieving things you CAN control.
4. Failure is the key to success.
Everyone fails. Nobody’s life is one big success story. It’s how you handle your failures that lead to an overall successful life. If you give up after a couple of setbacks, you’ll never accomplish what you want. To be honest, we learn a lot from our failures, so use your failures as stepping stones to achieving your goals.
5. Material things don’t define you.
If you ask a mature person what they value most in life, it won’t be an expensive car, a big house, or the stylish clothes they have. It will be the experiences they shared with their family and friends. It will be the small things that most people take for granted.
I’m not saying don’t pursue the material things that you enjoy, just don’t make the mistake of using them to show your value. Building meaningful experiences and relationships adds value to your life, not material things.
6. Daydreaming never gets shit done.
We all have done it. We daydream of the life we want. And there is no problem in that, as long as you take the necessary steps to accomplish your dreams. Fantasizing alone will never get you to where you want to be. You have to get off your ass and work towards your goals. Stop waiting for the perfect moment, just choose a day and get started!
7. Change is constant.
You can’t stop change from happening. Feelings change, situations change, things are changing as you read this article. No matter how hard you try, you can’t stop change from happening. But you can build a foundation so that when things change you can adapt to the changes. Once you accept that things can change on a dime, you’ll learn to enjoy the moment and to cherish the past all while planning for the future.
8. Everyone you know will die.
Don’t wait to give a eulogy to tell someone how much they mean to you. Let the people who mean the most in your life know how much they are loved right now. We all appreciate being told that we are valued in someone’s life. It brings joy to the person being told and to you for seeing the happiness on their face for hearing it.
9. Worrying doesn’t change anything.
Think about all the things you worried about. Did your worrying change the outcome? I know sometimes it seems safer to worry; like you’re tempting fate if you image a positive outcome. But the truth is, worrying doesn’t change anything but your mental state.
If you are prone to worrying try meditation, yoga, exercise, walking, talking to a friend, or just taking a long shower. Find something that takes your focus away from whatever is worrying you. You will never be totally free from worrying – but you can learn how to worry less.
10. Pursuing temporary things
Too often we pursue things that only bring us fleeting joy, temporary excitement. We look for things that bring us instant gratification because we think that’s what happiness is. I know it’s a cliché but true happiness comes from inner peace; from being content with who you are and having a meaningful life.
People who have a meaningful life are givers and not takers. They have a positive outlook on life. At times they may even be miserable but will be able to bounce back from setbacks, or heartache quicker than someone who only gets happiness from short-lived things. – Char Brown