Don’t think yourself out of a relationship.
Overthinking is a habit that many people have developed, usually in response to a deep need to stay in control of situations. However, overthinking can become an endless mental opera that fans negative feelings and sets the stage for an adverse outcome. Getting control of your overthinking can take some time, much like losing other habits, but it can pay off in less stress for you and a more relaxed relationship.
1. I’m I good enough?
Questioning whether you are attractive enough, smart enough, rich enough, exciting enough can sap your energy and leave you in a heap of shivering doubt that can undermine any budding relationship.
2. Is he thinking what I’m thinking?
Never try to get inside the head of a new partner in a relationship. Allow the person to reveal himself or herself to you on their own timetable.
3. Will It Last?
Many times, people are so busy worrying about where the relationship is going and how long it will last, they fail to be in the moment and miss the crucial moments that allow a connection to grow deeper. This is one of the ways that overthinking can undermine a new relationship.
4. Will He Call?
Instead of obsessively reviewing what you did or didn’t do wrong during your last encounter, get involved in your own life. Engage in your favorite hobbies, go out with your friends or get involved in a good book. Take your mind off the subject for a while, and you will be fresh and interesting when he does call.
5. Is He Faithful?
Jealousy can be a clear sign of underlying self-esteem issues. The fear of betrayal can be a result of a previous relationship. Whatever the reason, counseling may allow you to feel more confident and know you’re worthy of fidelity.
6. Why Won’t He Commit?
If you are on a faster track than your partner, maybe it’s time to consider whether you’re willing to wait for your partner to catch up, or whether you should be looking elsewhere.
7. Does his friends and family like me?
Overthinking whether your partner’s friends and family like you can leave you paralyzed and self-conscious, undermining the very acceptance you hope to achieve.
8. Is the sex okay?
Overthinking a sexual relationship is the fastest way to put a damper on it. Stop the mental reviewing and be in the moment.
9. Am I planning alone?
Sometimes, overthinking can take the form of making plans for the future without consulting your partner. This action can lead to resentment and failure of the relationship.
10. Are our differences fatal?
If your partner is of a different race, religion, social status or educational level than you are, try to avoid overthinking and magnifying the repercussions of the difference. Many of these issues will resolve themselves naturally. -Tina T.