The jury is in, and the verdict is: Just don’t do it!
Hooking up with a familiar lover is a thought that can bring comfort. The routine is comfortable, and there are no surprises. No strings attached, just letting go of some pent-up frustrations. You can get in and out in a jiffy, right? So the behavior seems harmless.
You’re thinking to yourself; you’ll just have sex with them until you meet someone new. Lots of people have “friends with benefits” so why can’t we? And you just don’t want to be alone. Though these things may seem right at the moment, they’re potentially creating long-term damage to your self-worth.
Believe it or not, if you’re still sleeping with your ex, and you don’t have any intention of getting back together with them emotionally, you’re slowly chipping away at your value.
It works like this: You sleep with your ex, and then they leave. After all the feel-good chemicals fade, you’re feeling alone again. You may feel used or like you can’t control your body. Subconsciously, you’re telling yourself that you’re only worth sex and not the long-term commitment that you’re longing for.
Many people try to excuse it away as “we have an agreement” or “It’s just a hookup.” These statements are just a facade over the darker feelings that lurk beneath the surface. If you’re not honest about how it feels, then you’re not honoring yourself.
It’s not about whether you think it’s morally right or wrong. It’s all about how you feel after it’s over.
Do you feel proud of yourself, or ashamed? Is it something you would tell your parents about? If no, then you know in your heart that you’re not proud of any of this. Most people don’t realize that these actions add up over time. You may feel your self-worth starting to wane or wonder about the boundaries you thought you had.
Sleeping with your ex is just telling yourself that you’re not worth waiting for someone special. You’re giving away a piece of yourself every time you’re in bed with your ex. Your value drops because you give it up for a quick moment of pleasure.
Cutting off an ex can be scary if you’re afraid of being alone. If you believe that you won’t find anyone better for a while; or if you’re trying to hold on to them hoping for a reconciliation. But you have to know that until you completely let go of an ex and concentrate on you; getting yourself together after a breakup, you’ll never find that someone special who will treat you like you deserve to be treated.
So look within yourself and find the strength to know and value your worth and you’ll probably be saying goodbye to your ex… for good. – C. Sky