Keeping it Real

Is Having Sex With the Ex Worth It?

The jury is in, and the verdict is: Just don’t do it!

Hooking up with a familiar lover is a thought that can bring comfort. The routine is comfortable, and there are no surprises. No strings attached, just letting go of some pent-up frustrations. You can get in and out in a jiffy, right? So the behavior seems harmless.

You’re thinking to yourself; you’ll just have sex with them until you meet someone new. Lots of people have “friends with benefits” so why can’t we?  And you just don’t want to be alone. Though these things may seem right at the moment, they’re potentially creating long-term damage to your self-worth.

Believe it or not, if you’re still sleeping with your ex, and you don’t have any intention of getting back together with them emotionally, you’re slowly chipping away at your value.

It works like this: You sleep with your ex, and then they leave. After all the feel-good chemicals fade, you’re feeling alone again. You may feel used or like you can’t control your body. Subconsciously, you’re telling yourself that you’re only worth sex and not the long-term commitment that you’re longing for.

Many people try to excuse it away as “we have an agreement” or “It’s just a hookup.” These statements are just a facade over the darker feelings that lurk beneath the surface. If you’re not honest about how it feels, then you’re not honoring yourself.

It’s not about whether you think it’s morally right or wrong. It’s all about how you feel after it’s over.