Keeping it Real

Is Your Life Falling Apart?

11 signs you need to get your life under control.

Your life may be falling apart, and you don’t even know it. Sometimes a traumatic event is what starts us on your downward spiral. Or it can be just feeling overwhelmed that starts to numb you from what’s going on around you. If we get out of bed before noon, we count that as a good day. Drinking alcohol, binge eating, or just sitting in the dark becomes our way of “coping.” Jobs are lost because we’re stressed out and our minds aren’t able to focus on what we’re supposed to be doing.

We’ve become so conditioned to lying about how we feel that we try to hide our emotions from family and friends, even from ourselves. We put a smile on our face and pretend everything is okay when people are around. But it doesn’t last. The only thing that will get you on the path to recovery is being brutally honest with yourself.

“Am I okay?”

If you recognize any of these signs, you may be falling apart and need to do something to stop the downward spiral.

1. You don’t like who you see in the mirror.
Can you honestly say you like who you are? If you were to meet someone just like you, would you respect them? Would you even like them? If the answer is no, it may be time to re-evaluate your life and do things differently.

2. You depend on drugs or alcohol.
I’m not talking about a glass of wine at night to wind down, or a joint on the weekend (for your glaucoma of course). But if you need a glass of vodka just to get out of bed, or increasingly rely on prescription pain meds to get through the day, you are out of control.

3. Your finances are out of control.
People say money can’t buy you happiness, but it sure as hell can make life a lot easier. If you are stressed out about your lack of money, first try living within your means. Stop trying to keep up with the Jones’. To get back on track, try researching and asking for help from a non-profit organization that deals with helping people get their financial life together.

4.  You act out in public.
Are you getting banned from places that you frequent, such as bars, restaurants, movie theaters, even the library? If your behavior in public has deterioration and is no longer acceptable as normal, that is a sign that you are out of control.

5. You notice a change in how people treat you.
Once people see you as vulnerable, they will start to take advantage of you. They notice that you don’t respect yourself, so they don’t feel the need to respect you either. Once respect has been lost it’s extremely hard to get it back. Your best bet might be to walk away from these people and focus on getting your life back on track.

6. You constantly think about packing your bags and going ghost.
The problem with this solution is that it’s not really a solution for most circumstances. If your issues are internal, they will follow you wherever you go. It might be time to confront your problems head-on either by yourself or a professional therapist. You need to be able to feel happiness wherever you are.

7. Your plans for the future are non-sensical.
Do you have a life plan that makes sense? If your plan for the future relies on others to take care of you, you have a problem. If your plan for financial security is winning the lottery, you have a problem. If you don’t have any idea what you’re going to do with yourself, you have a problem. If you don’t have any idea how you’re going to keep bad things from happening to you, your life is out of control.

8. You can’t keep a job.
You constantly get fired because you fail to show up, are habitually late, can’t get along with your coworkers, tell your boss they’re an a-hole or just don’t get the work done. This is one of the most significant signs that your life is falling apart. If you can’t provide financial stability for yourself, it may be time to stop and assess why you are getting fired before you look for that next job.

9. You feel like you’re carrying all the weight in a relationship.
If you feel like that is happening, you probably are. Now you need to ask yourself, will this change anytime soon? If you’ve addressed this problem with the person involved and nothing has changed, don’t hold your breath because chances are, change is not coming.

10. Friends have tried an intervention.
Family and friends often see signs that our life is out of control long before we do. If the people who care about you are asking you what’s wrong and offering help, don’t write them off. This means that you still have people who love you and want to see you healthy.

11. You’re starting to become desperate.
If you’re doing things out of desperation, compromising your values, and self-respect it’s time to take a long hard look at yourself and do things to get your life back in order.

Shit happens. Some things we can handle on our own, but sometimes we need a little help getting through some rough patches. If you recognize you’re not handling a situation well, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Until you manage your issues, you won’t be able to move on with your life in a productive manner.