Keeping it Real

Is Closure Overrated?

Too many people think they need “closure” to move on. First you rarely get it, and second the reason given for the breakup is probably not the truth. Your ex is probably not going to tell you that they just got bored of you and found someone new. Here are some reasons that “closure” is overrated, and why you don’t need it:

1. Time, not the BS your ex tells you is the best healer.

Like I mentioned above, you are probably not going to get the real reason for the breakup. A decent guy will try to let you down easy, and an asshole will just try to blame you for everything that went wrong in the relationship. Time away from your ex will ultimately heal your heart faster than any BS you ex spews.

2. You’re not owed closure.

Closure is not guaranteed when ending a relationship. If both parties wish to sit down and discuss the reasons for the relationship ending, gravy. But people break up in different ways and having an emotional, sometimes drama filled, conversation about what went wrong might not be your former boyfriend’s way of moving on.

3. It may not be the conclusion you imagined.

Okay, so you got your ex to sit down and rehash your relationship, but he’s not telling you the things you want to hear. It turns into a blame game or all-out screaming match. Feel better?

4. Can you trust what he’s saying?

Honesty is critical for closure, and that’s hard to come by. Who wants to be viewed as the bad guy in the relationship?

5. Dwelling on your failed relationship makes it harder to move on.

Constantly calling or texting your ex in hopes of getting “closure” sometimes is a way for you to try and hang on to what’s already gone. Let it go so you can get on with life.

6. You don’t need to be told what went wrong.

In reality, you don’t need your ex to tell you what went wrong in the relationship. By stepping away from the person, and taking time to access the relationship you had honestly, you can see what went wrong on your own. Learn from your conclusions.

7. In the end, sometimes things just don’t work out.

Maybe the relationship was not meant to be. No one’s at fault, you just weren’t compatible, and it didn’t work out. That may not be a satisfying end to the story, but it is “The End” of the story. -Tina T.