Hilarious Things People Commonly Do

You know you’ve done a lot of these…

1. Smile like an idiot and nod when you have no idea what someone just said

“I hope smiling is appropriate here.”

2. Fake laughing

“That shit’s not funny, but she’s my boss so… Ha, ha, ha.”

3. Diagnosing people in the waiting room at your doctor’s office

“That guy just coughed, oh god, he’s definitely contagious!”

4. Pretending you still might buy something after seeing the price

“WTF! Are they insane, who would pay that much!”

5. Eating a “family size” bag of chips by yourself

“It’s wasn’t my fault! It was a looooong movie.”

6. Replying to an email after ignoring it for weeks

“Sorry, somehow this ended up in my spam folder.”

7. Bringing a book to the beach but not reading it

“I’ve wasted all my time people watching and snoozing.”

8. Using the bathroom at a friend’s house and peeking in their medicine cabinet

“Just a quick peek…”

9. Reading directions on a food package, throwing it in the trash, then retrieving it because you’ve forgotten everything you read

“What was that first thing?”

10. Carrying way too much from your car so you can make it in one trip

“Two trips is for amateurs.”

11. Lying to the doctor about your alcoholic drink consumption

“I’ll just round-down 6 drinks a month to 3.”

12. Accidentally sending a text to the person you’re talking crap about


13. Coming home from work and realizing the house is empty

“I love my family, but man is this sweet!”

14. Buying a week’s worth of fresh vegetables and not eating any of it

“Dang! That’s money down the drain.”

15. Pretending not to be disappointed when you get a birthday card without any cash

“I know, I know, it’s the thought that counts.”

16. Waiting a few minutes after a person sits down next to you before leaving so you didn’t hurt their feelings

“That guy was just a little too creepy.”

17. Checking your symptoms on the internet, and convincing yourself you’re on death’s door

“I knew my headache was a tumor!”

18. Writing a long angry text but never hitting send

“Phew, I dodged a bullet on that.”

19. Fibbing during a round of “Never Have I Ever”

“They don’t need to know I really have.”

20. Calling someone “buddy” because you forgot their name

“It’ll come to me… Okay, maybe not.”

21. Claiming you have plans to get out of a social function, when you really don’t

“Binge watching Netflix counts… Right?”

22. Rehearsing in your head what you should have said in a conversation

“Man! That would have been an epic comeback.”

23. Dancing and singing by yourself in your kitchen

“Elaine, eat your heart out!”

24. Turning down the volume on your headphones to eavesdrop on a conversation

“If they didn’t want me to hear, they should be saying this shit in private.”

25. Singing the alphabet in your head to remember where a letter is positioned

“A, b, c, d, e, f, g…”

26. Sleeping with a night light because you’re still afraid of the dark

“Damn you Stephen King! And your creepy clown too!”

27. Looking for your phone while holding it in your hand

“It was here a minute ago… Oh, idiot.”

28. Screaming at inanimate objects

“You piece of sh$t computer! That’s not what I wanted to happen!”

29. Pull back the shower curtain to make sure no murderers are lurking

“Thought I heard something…”

30. Turning down the volume on your car radio because you’re lost

“Okay, where the fu#k am I?”

How many of these have you done?

C. Frink