Keeping it Real

Good in Bed? – 8 Ways To Tell

Intimacy is a significant part of any relationship, and couples without chemistry can sometimes see their relationships falter.

Wouldn’t we all love to have a way of knowing whether a potential partner would be good in bed? The truth is that there’s no single metric for determining whether a person will be bangin’ in bed. There are, however, many things that psychology can tell us about a person. If you keep in mind these things, you’ll have a good idea of whether a person will impress in the bedroom, before taking your clothes off.

Body language doesn’t lie

Much of what we think of being “good” in bed comes down to chemistry. There’s some psychology to chemistry, too. You can tell from a person’s body language whether they’re likely to be an engaged partner in bed. Eye contact is perhaps the most important thing. A person who has attentive posture and is willing to look you in the eye will likely be engaged enough to give you a good time in bed.

Can he or she dance?

Dancing requires confidence and coordination. It requires a person to be willing to try new things and deal with constructive criticism. If a person can dance and is willing to put themselves out there on the dance floor, then the chances are good that he or she will be good in bed.

How expressive is he or she in their speech?

Watch the person as they talk to you and others. Psychologists suggest that hand gestures can provide some insight into how a person will perform in bed. For instance, a person who is very active with his or her hands is much more likely to put those hands to work in the bedroom. Someone who is less expressive may still be a good lover, but psychologists suggest that your chances of finding a good lover are better with a more expressive communicator.

Open to trying new things?

Some psychologists suggest that a major divide between human beings is on the openness question. Some people like the same old routines, day after day after day. Other people are more apt for adventure. A person who is open to trying new and different things is much more likely to bring this adventure to the bedroom. The psychology suggests that this sort of person might be a fulfilling partner in bed.

Are they physically active?

You might think that being in shape predicts se*ual ability because of flexibility or strength. While this may be true, there’s also some psychology involved. People who remain active tend to be happier. They enjoy the release of positive brain chemicals. Beyond that, there’s a certain degree of self-confidence that comes with working out. This can translate to success in the bedroom.

Don’t discount the listening ability

When you’re on that first or second date, and you’re telling the story about your recent family vacation, how well is your date listening? This might tell you everything you need to know about the opportunity for bedroom compatibility. A person who can listen well is more likely to be attentive and responsive. Good listeners will pick up on subtle hints that can help make your love-making experience, the kind that leaves you breathless.

Check the bragging at the door

Men and women who are good in bed don’t need to brag about past exploits. Psychologists will tell you that a man or woman who feels the need to brag about previous exploits is trying to make up for some deep insecurity. If he’s bragging about how he left his partners panting, maybe he’s trying to compensate for his shortcomings.

Self-confidence matters

It can sometimes be difficult to tell the difference between self-confidence and bravado. Psychologists suggest that confidence is a huge determinant of bedroom prowess. If a person is comfortable in his or her own skin, then they’ll be able to make sex about you rather than about them.

Bedroom compatibility matters in most relationships but can be difficult to tell beforehand. Unfortunately, there is no code to crack to find the answer to this question. Using these signs, though, you’ll have a better idea of where your partner stands on the spectrum. -Tina T.