Keeping it Real

Are Men Intimidated by Badass, Independent Women?

Weak-ass men need not apply!

Jackie is 35 years old. She is attractive, she works out, runs her own jewelry business, she recently went back to school for her Ph.D and she is currently in the process of starting her own clothing line. When she is not working she goes swimming or hangs out with her friends. Her friends describe her as a fun loving woman who is full of energy and has a great sense of humor. But there’s one problem…she is single and she doesn’t want to be.

Her friends tell her that she is too intense. Men want a woman they can go home to after a long day at work who will cater to their needs. Jackie finds this kind of reasoning to be ridiculous. Why should she give up her career or independence just to please a man? Why should she have to stroke someone’s ego or put her needs on the back burner? Are men really that intimidated by a strong successful woman?

Strong successful women only intimidate weak, passive men with no ambition

Thank God the 50s are long gone. Women are now go-getters and just as successful as men. Giving up what you’ve worked hard for in order to be considered “datable” is unacceptable. If a man is not ambitious enough to go after what he wants, then definitely he will be intimidated by a woman who does. One thing about these types of men is that they are generally intimidated by anyone who is successful regardless of sex.

Men who are intimidated by strong successful women are intimidated by the power

Of course a strong successful woman is not a doormat. She is aggressive and doesn’t let herself be taken for granted. She has the power to say no or yes. This power is what intimidates many men.

It’s just an excuse that some men use.

When some men are unable to meet a woman they can control, they quickly shift blame to the strong successful woman. Unfortunately some men are stuck in the male chauvinism glory days of the 1950s. They prefer their women to stay at home and look after the children while they go out and make money.

Smart men know that dating an accomplished woman is a nice “bonus”

If a man is attracted to you, your accomplishments will enhance that attraction. A guy looking for a serious relationship will prefer to date a woman who has more than a high school diploma, has serious work ethics and has ambitions in life. This is because he knows he will connect better with a woman who is not only intelligent but has her own goals. Once a guy finds a woman who has these qualities, he will even brag about it to his friends.

So where does the problem arise?

Here’s the deal:

No man wants to come home to a competitive, stressful environment after spending the whole day at work in a similar environment. You probably wouldn’t want that either, would you? Imagine coming home everyday to a controlling and aggressive man.

The biggest mistake you can make is treating your relationships like a business. We sometimes lead with our accomplishments instead of doing what’s best for the relationship. Most men don’t really care if a woman has ten degrees, a million dollar job or owns an island. Your achievements are just a bonus. Men are normally attracted to certain qualities in a woman such as her ability to create a feeling of peace and emotional safety in the relationship. That’s why you’ll find a guy leaving a strong successful woman for a woman who is not as intelligent or successful but who nurtures a peaceful environment.

So what can you do about it?

Just keep this in mind when dating a guy:

It’s not how much you bring to the table; it’s how you make him feel when he is with you. Men want to feel like their opinion and input matters. After voicing your opinion allow your man to make the final decision in some matters.  If you don’t trust his decision making abilities or you are always on opposite sides, then maybe he is not the man for you.

If you earn more than him, you have to find a healthy balance. It’s okay to not depend on a man. In fact, we encourage that you don’t depend on a man. However, if you want to poison your relationship just act like your man isn’t needed in the relationship, that he’s just there for decoration.

So to sum things up, not all men are intimidated by strong successful women. The few that are intimidated have their own unresolved issues. When dating, just keep in mind that the qualities which make you successful in your career doesn’t necessarily work in a relationship. – Jackie K.