Keeping it Real

5 Signs You’re Dating A Controlling Man

Love shouldn’t cost you your independence, your opinions… your free will.

When you’re in love, it can be difficult to spot the difference between a caring boyfriend and a control freak. However, there are a few hints that should not be ignored. Here are five signs that the man you are dating is controlling.

1. You can only do what he wants to do

You are probably dating a controlling man if all of your activities revolve around what he wants to do. You may spend every weekend at the batting cages because that’s what he wants. If after four weekends of batting practice you suggest doing something else, and he shoots you down, he’s not only controlling but selfish. A relationship is all about compromise. One person cannot always get their way while the other never does.

2. He doesn’t want you straying from routine

A controlling man will prefer that you stick to a routine so that he always knows where you are and who you are with. He may have issues with trust that cause him to be uncomfortable with a change in routine. He might also be just as serious about his daily routine and not want anything, including your routine or lack thereof, to interfere with his. Routine isn’t always bad, but if you feel as though you can’t wander from yours without getting negative feedback about it, you are probably involved with a controlling man.

3. He snoops

If your boyfriend snoops through your phone or computer and confronts you with what he’s found, he’s a controlling man. Even if you don’t have anything to hide, no one else has the right to go through your personal items without your permission. He might find nothing of concern, but use what he does find as a reason to interrogate you. He might insist that you remove the password from your phone or give it to him so that he can look when he wants to.

4. He tells you what you think and how you feel

A controlling man may be under the impression that he knows you better than you know yourself. If you’re unsure of something, he will tell you how you feel about it. He will probably have such confidence that you begin to believe what he’s saying. He may tell you how you feel about him, what kind of life you want, and even your beliefs and opinions. He won’t listen when you try to tell him how you do feel because he thinks he knows better.

5. He’s emotionally manipulative

A controlling man will know how to play with your emotions to get his way. If he acts hurt by your actions, chances are you will stop doing them because you don’t want him to feel bad. An emotional manipulator rarely feels the hurt or betrayal he claims you caused, but it’s the easiest way to make sure you do what he wants. He will use your love and insecurity to his advantage.

Dating a controlling man is not worth the pain and frustration he causes, no matter how much you might love him. It’s important to remember that a controlling man loves himself more and puts his needs and feelings above yours at all times. – Aprilaragam