Keeping it Real

Reasons He Pulled a Fade-Away Breakup

Cowardice comes to mind.

Things were going really well for you and just when you thought he was ready to take your relationship to the next level, he disappeared. It’s not that there wasn’t a sign telling you something was wrong. He stopped taking your calls, replying to your messages and asking you out on dates. When you asked him about it he said it’s because he was busy at work. Because you didn’t want to appear needy, you gave him space because you knew he would come back around and things would go back to the way they were.

But that’s not what happened. He stopped talking to you altogether and you were left wondering why he didn’t just breakup with you instead of pulling a fade away. Well, we have a few ideas why he pulled that move

  1. It was easier for him to pull a fade away break up than to break up with you in person

We all know breaking up isn’t easy. Most of the time it involves so much emotion and heart break that men prefer to just slowly pull away. He didn’t want to have “the talk” with you because it would have forced him to look for the right words to “gently” tell you he was no longer into you. He also didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Let’s face it; no one wants to hear that they aren’t good enough for the person they love.

  1. He wanted to avoid the drama

He probably thought you would cause a scene if he broke up with you in person. He just couldn’t imagine dealing with you crying in public or throwing things at him because you were mad he was leaving you for someone else. It sounds crazy but if he had such an experience in the past with another woman, he probably didn’t want to experience that sort of drama again.

  1. He did something you wouldn’t like

Maybe he slept with your best friend or got another woman pregnant so he preferred to run off into the night rather than tell you what he did. He knows if he told you what he did he would hurt you more than he would if he disappeared. But wouldn’t it be more hurtful if you found out from someone else what he did? Probably…but clearly he would rather someone else break the news to you than for him to do it.

  1. He felt pressured

Maybe you weren’t on the same page in your relationship. Maybe he felt things were going way too fast for him. Maybe you had such high hopes for the relationship and he thought the two of you were just casually dating…nothing serious. He didn’t want to hurt your feelings and he thought the best way to handle the situation was to slowly fade away.

These are just some of the reasons why men fade away. It’s a cowardly move and it’s much worse than breaking up over text or a Facebook status. But it’s the best way some men know how to break up with a woman. When you notice your man is fading out, you can do either of these two things:

  1. Let him fade out

This can be very hard especially if you had invested so much into the relationship. Despite the disappointment, you can choose to let him go. Besides, do you really want to hang on to a relationship with someone who isn’t brave enough to tell you what he wants to your face? But if you feel you are reading too much into things or you are just being paranoid you can:

  1. Remove the ambiguity

Pick up the phone and call him. Ask him where your relationship stands and why he is fading out. You will be putting him on the spot here so don’t expect much of an explanation. Whatever the case, just be ready for the answer he will give you. Accept whatever he says. If he says he needs time to think, give him time. If he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship let him be.

The slow fade is a common move in the dating world. You date a guy for a few weeks…even months and then he disappears. Most guys hate breaking up so fading away is a great option for them. It sucks but no one said dating men would be a smooth journey.  -Jackie K.