11 Signs You’re Assertive AF

Women who take charge of their lives and refuse to be disrespected often get a bad rap, but they know life is better when you speak up for yourself. Most women are not born with this strength; it takes time to get to a point where we’re confident enough to be assertive and just an all-around badass.

1. “Bitch!”
You’ve been called a bitch, often – and you don’t give a shit. Even in 2018, some people are surprised when a woman stands up for herself. They feel like their authority has been challenged and will often call the woman being assertive and standing her ground a bitch. This term being lopped at you doesn’t stop you from speaking up for yourself.

2. You’re confident AF.
When you’re confident about what you’re saying, people tend to listen to what you have to say. Unfortunately, some people see your confidence as being bitchy or full of yourself. This does not bother you. You know what you need and refuse to apologize for voicing your desires or concerns.

3. Double standards don’t stop you.
You know that if a man acted in the same way, he’d be applauded. Men standing up for themselves are seen as manly and expected, women are seen as bitchy and not staying in their lane. You don’t care what you’re called as long as you get the results you desire. You are not deterred by this double standard.

4. You are not afraid to make someone uncomfortable.
Too many women are afraid to say what they know is right because it will make others uncomfortable. Your motto is “fuck that shit, right is right and wrong is wrong.” You are not afraid of making a scene to correct an injustice. For instance, if a guy touches you inappropriately in private or public, his feelings or the consequences of his actions are not your concern. Making your feelings known to him about his inappropriate actions is, and you will have no problem “causing a scene” to get your point across.

5. You don’t take any crap.
You have set boundaries, you know what you want and won’t settle for less. It’s not that you’re unreasonable or a control freak, you just speak up when someone wrongs you and try to prevent it from happening again.

6. You’re not afraid to ask questions.
So many things can go wrong if you’re afraid to ask questions. Not with you! If you don’t understand something, you ask people to elaborate. You’re not scared of looking “stupid.” You’re not afraid of challenging authority to get the answers and clarity you need.

7. You have no problem being assertive
Being assertive doesn’t mean being nasty or inconsiderate. But some people are thick-headed, and you may need to raise your voice an octave or two to get your point across. Scarier still is when you lower your voice. Unfortunately, being assertive is often seen as being bitchy. In reality, you’re just telling them what’s really going on — nothing more, nothing less.

8. People often look to you for leadership.
Whether it be in the office or with your girlfriends, the way you carry yourself is noticed. You often find yourself in leadership roles whether in the office or out with the girls. People look to you to cut through the bullshit and get answers they may not be able to get.

9. You’re successful in your career.
Too often women are held back in the business world not because they lack skills but because they’re timid about asking for what they need or want. You’re comfortable with negotiating salaries when many women are terrified of even broaching the subject. As a result, you’ve gotten promotions and raises left and right.

10. You terrify some men – and women.
Assertive women scare the crap out of some men. Whether it’s dating or even in business, people know that it’s harder to run game on you. You’re totally cool with it because anyone that can’t handle a woman merely speaking her wants and needs is not worth your time.

11. You don’t think you’re always right.
Just because you’re assertive, confident, passionate, and opinionated doesn’t mean you think you have all the answers. You’re willing to listen to the opinions of others and be swayed if their argument is persuasive. You know that you’re wrong sometimes, just like every other human, but this doesn’t stop you from speaking up about your needs.

Each new generation of women is becoming more confident in their decision-making skills. We are unlearning years of being taught to defer to men to make important decisions about our lives. We are making great progress – but we still have a way to go. -Tina T.