Can you remember the last time your man made you smile?
If you only feel anxiety around him, like you’re walking on eggshells or have to be conscience of everything you say, then you’re in a toxic relationship.
Men who are toxic always end up hurting those around them. Whether it’s intentional or not, their actions will have you second guessing why the hell you ever got involved with them. They undermine everything you do and spoil what you might otherwise enjoy.
The stress of a toxic relationship can even cause physical symptoms such as chronic fatigue, headaches, neck and back pain, stomach upset, eating and sleeping disorders and nagging illnesses — and those are just the minor effects.
There’s a 34 percent increase in cardiac problems for those in toxic relationships, as well as a shortened lifespan by an average of 11 years. And that’s not all: Blood pressure and blood sugar levels are higher; obesity rates, diabetes, depression, and incidences of stroke all increase; and levels of lower good cholesterol.
So for your mental and physical health, here are ten ways to lift yourself up, leave the relationship, and move on:
1. Clarify your boundaries.
You may want to give him one more chance. Do this by clarifying your boundaries. Chances are, you’re wasting your time. If he’s not respecting you now, he probably won’t start respecting you just because you’ve finally laid down the law. Make sure you are clear as to what your boundaries are. Leave no doubt for misinterpretation.
2. It’s over.
Once you’ve decided it’s over, plan out how you’re going to let him go, then do it.
3. Meet in a public place.
Meet him in a restaurant, coffee shop, the mall; a place where causing a scene will be harder to do. You might even want to have a friend nearby for moral support or to help you stay firm in case he starts feeding you bullshit and you start to weaken.
4. Do not debate him.
Do NOT justify, explain, be reasoned with, or let him debate you. You don’t need to answer to him. Say what you have to say, and leave.
5. You can also write him a letter.
If you can’t get your point across verbally; write it down. You can send him a text, but what you have to say may be too long for that. If snail mail is not for you, email works also.
6. Block him.
Block him on social media. Do not look at any of his social media accounts. Just entirely remove his presence from your online life.
He’s gone, now what?
7. Think about filling your extra time.
Once you’ve broken it off, now is the time to concentrate on you. Focus on things that you’ll enjoy, things that will improve your lot in life. If you don’t want to be tempted to pick up the phone and call him because you’re bored or lonely; plan what you’ll do with your extra downtime. Fill your day with projects, work, volunteering; anything that will tire you out, so the nights are used for sleeping and not brooding.
8. Look to positive influences.
Do things and spend time with people that will create a positive outlook on your life. Do things to help others. Watch movies or read books that make you feel inspired. Bypass the sappy rom-coms or tearjerkers. Stay away from friends or family who try to make you feel guilty for ending the relationship. This is not the time to open yourself up to anything that will put you in a negative mood.
9. Give yourself time to heal.
You’re an open wound right now, so give yourself time to heal. Take care of yourself and focus on your healing and self-image. Now is not the time to enter into another relationship.
10. Now celebrate.
Congrats, you did it!
Choose the best way to honor your decision. Make it private if you’re an introvert, or go and party with your positive friends if you’re an extrovert, but do celebrate yourself. You deserve this happier, healthier new life you’re creating. – C. Sky